An excellent hash with plenty of checks and the perfect length, thus allowing wimps to partake in cunning running and Rambos to get plenty of exercise whilst never knowing which group would arrive at the On Inn first.

Sorry Hares, that is what I would have liked to have written but instead I have to write that it was not quite our best day out. It was a very long and tedious hash with only a few unimaginative 2 way checks and no split, apparently because one of the hares got lost trying to set it. As a result the wimps were subjected to a dispiriting trudge following behind a far distant horn. (not that any split was intended to make the wimps life any easier). The hares' map indicated that the run was only 4inches long and they were quite surprised that no one was back after two hours. A check of the "map" used showed that in fact they were using a satellite image from telstar circa 1969.

Future hares make sure you plan you hash and recce your routes well in advance and think about the separate requirements of wimps and Rambos. It has to be said that this week's hares are not alone in failing to set a considerate hash. Within the past year all of the experienced hashers including today's scribe have been guilty of this sin.  So it is time for the trash to get critical and post a reminder.  Hashes should be around one hour long (i.e. not usually less than 45mins and not usually longer than 75 mins). This should include a good fast run out for the Rambos and an opportunity for cunning running for the wimps without which  LVH3 would not be a viable hash.

The day was saved by a few lighter moments one of which was the sight of the Judge desperately trying to push a wall over all on her own, Slackbladder's mountain trig point with a vertigo inducing height of 10m and most importantly of all  by an excellent choice of pub with fast service, great grub and Jennings beer - all sins forgiven after a refreshing pint - by the time we left everyone was looking forward to the next hash.   Which is a double event - Full Moon Saturday Evening Hash followed by our normal Sunday hash - camping out at the Hill Inn Ingleton for the hardy (see other sections of this newsletter for details.)

Attendance of 15, Down downs awarded to

• The stand RA Slackbladder for wearing a hat in the circle which incidentally he had he "borrowed" off a dead fell walker a few days previously 
• Neglect of duty - the knitting circle 
• The Accused for being a blind bastard and failing to recognize the Judge
• Bubbles and Muff Diver for displaying entrepreneurial skill during the hash.
• Hares for 3 blobs on a false trail, missing the mountain trig point and general meandering 
• Lurch the blind bastard dentist for missing obvious trail.

NB
Ed. In order to protect their fine reputations the scribe has deliberately avoided stating that the hares were the GM and the Confessor. I trust this has been appreciated.